So I packed my suitcase, bought a one way ticket and moved to Brighton. Gulp.
Sometime’s life gets a bit rocky and we end up making crazy decisions, which sometimes turn out to be the best ones. That’s what I did. Life did get a bit rocky, I made a crazy decision and I actually feel pretty good about it.
In this post, I’m going to talk about why moving to a new city alone can be one of the most beneficial things that we can do for ourselves. It’s one of those daunting thoughts which causes all the what ifs, why’s and when’s, but trust me, it’s something which can only change us for the better. I want to keep it as real as possible, so it may not be the most chirpy of posts, but it’s truthful.
There are many reasons why moving to a new city may have crossed your mind. Things might be tough at home, or you simply might be craving a fresh start. Whatever the reason, it’s definitely something worth doing.
As this is all very recent, I’m going to share the things that I’ve discovered from my moving experience so far and try to give some honest and un-sugarcoated advice. Enjoy. 🙂
#1 You’ll have no choice but to find yourself
For the first month you’ll most likely be eating alone, exploring alone, shopping alone… you get the picture. I’ll be honest, it’s quite lonely for a while, but in those moments of loneliness, you really begin to understand how important it is to enjoy your own company. Most of our lives consist of interacting with friends, family and work colleagues on a daily basis, so we’re used to being surrounded by loved ones. So what happens when you’re on your own?
Well, you start to discover all sorts of things about yourself. You have no choice but to become your own best friend, and when you do, you’re never alone. Each day I’ve learnt something new about myself and it’s fascinating to think that I never realised these things before. It’s been an amazing experience so far and I’m really enjoying finding out all these things. I wonder what I shall find out today!
When you move away and are parted from your usual surroundings and routines, it really puts things in to perspective. You start to notice certain things about yourself that may not have been that obvious to you at the time. It gives you the chance to look back on these things and change them. (If you’re not happy about them of course).
So my advice would be to get out there! Wake up, sip your coffee and go explore the city like an independent Man/Woman. Get to know yourself inside and out. It will get lonely at times and you will question your choice of moving away from home, but don’t give in, as those feelings and thoughts are what will help you find the real you. See it as an exciting challenge.
You’ll be surprised at how well you do by yourself. I still am!
#2 You’ll instantly become independent
“Would you mind making me a tea?”
“Could you just give me a hand with this?”
“Wanna go to the cinema tonight?”
We’re so used to having people around us that we tend to rely on them for many things, whether that’s to hang out or to get help with something. Half the time we don’t even realise that we’re doing it, it’s only when we’re left to fend for ourselves that we become aware of this.
It’s surprising how quickly we adjust to being alone, and how being independent becomes second nature. From moving to Brighton, it’s become clear to me that I’ve relied on people way to much in the past, and that when it comes to it, I’m completely capable of looking after myself.
Relying on and needing others isn’t a bad thing, its human nature, it’s just important that when you do find yourself going it solo, you know that you can depend on yourself alone.
You can do it!
#3 You’ll use your social skills and meet new people
So how do you make friends when your on your lonesome? Yes, it’s easy to meet people when your drunk in a bar or when you meet friends of friends, but what about when your on your own? Well, there are quite a few things, you just have to put the effort in.
You can meet people from joining clubs, attending events or being brave and simply saying hello. Also, when you get a job, you will instantly make friends in the workplace. Your colleagues are bound to organise nights out, so you will automatically be introduced to new groups of people.
Making friends has been a lot easier than I thought. Once you meet one person, the rest start to follow. Having to meet new people may push you out of our comfort zone, but it’ll certainly strengthen your confidence and you as a person. I’m not the most forward of people, but having no choice but to go out and interact with strangers has improved my confidence greatly and it’ll do the same for you too.
Imagine all the interesting people we could meet and memories we could make if we just said “Hello”. The possibilities are endless. I had a good old dance with a drag queen the other night because I said hello. Then again I was drunk, but it was a memory made!
#4 You’ll learn how to power through the darkest moments
Crying in bed, sobbing in to our pillows and feeling like crap. We’ve all been there. I was there last week! The important thing is that you learn how to pick yourself up during those moments. When you move away and just have yourself, you are simply forced to cope with things. Yes, your friends and family may be a phone call away, but when it’s 4 am, it’s just you.
Whatever the situation, You’ll start to grow a backbone, a strong one! Life can be sweet and dandy, but it can also be tough, so when things are thrown our way, learning how to fight them off is a must. If I’ve learnt anything it’s that you have to let those moments happen, ride them out and try to understand them in order for things to get better.
In the end you will find an inner strength that you didn’t know you had and you will be really proud of yourself.
#5 You’ll have freedom
A plus side to moving to a new area is that you can be whoever you want to be. Whether you don’t like your style, your hair or your attitude, you can change whatever you like and start fresh. It’s quite liberating.
Only you know what you want and who you want to be. If you move, you’ll have the option to take full advantage of the whole experience and change yourself for the better. You’ll have no limits, no boundaries and will be able to make it the most exciting transition of your life. You’ll be free to make new friends, new memories and new goals. You’ll have different surroundings, a new routine and will learn so many things along the way. Exciting times if you ask me!
I hope this helped you out a little. I’ve had an amazing experience so far and am really proud that I made this choice. What ever you decide, be safe! Go with your gut feeling and good luck with all your adventures ahead!
If you would like me to elaborate more on any of these points, just let me know :).